Excerpted from The Grief Recovery Handbook

  • Recovery means feeling better.
  • Recovery means claiming your circumstances instead of your circumstances claiming you and your happiness.
  • Recovery is finding new meaning for living, without [being stopped by] the fear of being hurt again.
  • Recovery is being able to enjoy fond memories without having them precipitate painful feelings of regret or remorse.
  • Recovery is acknowledging that it is perfectly all right to feel sad from time to time and to talk about those feelings no matter how those around you react.
  • Recovery is being able to forgive others when they say or do things you know are based on their lack of knowledge about grief.
  • Recovery is one day realizing that your ability to talk about the loss you’ve experienced is indeed normal and healthy.

Most important, recovery means acquiring the skills that we should have been taught in childhood. These skills allow us to deal with loss directly.

The skills of grief recovery will heal your heart if it gets broken and in turn allow you to participate 100 percent in all of your relationships.

With the knowledge and freedom brought about by completing losses comes the additional benefit of allowing ourselves to love as totally as possible.

Taking the actions that lead to recovery will require your attention, open-mindedness, willingness, and courage.